What If Masculinity Wasn’t About Power, Control, or Ego?
What if strength wasn’t measured by dominance but by love?
That question drives Steve Toelupe, founder of Meant for More and Core Life Coaching. His work is reshaping the way men see themselves, their relationships, and their role in today’s world. Steve isn’t sharing theory. His story is raw, real, and lived. From pain and pressure to purpose and possibility, his journey has made him a voice of hope for men everywhere.
Steve believes that healthy masculinity is not only possible but essential. It is the gateway to stronger families, deeper relationships, and a more connected world.
The Breaking Point
For Steve, the shift began in his late teens. Like many young men, he got caught up in drinking, experimenting with drugs, and numbing himself with distractions. Deep down, something inside was telling him it was time to change.
“I would wake up the next day with a deeper level of awareness that this life wasn’t for me. Something in me kept saying, I’m meant for more.”
That inner whisper became the spark. But change didn’t come easily. Years of cultural conditioning and old definitions of masculinity told him to stay silent, keep feelings bottled up, and prove himself through toughness. That armor weighed him down until it finally broke.
Redefining Masculinity
So what does healthy masculinity look like today? For Steve, it starts with awareness.
“Healthy masculinity is the ability to recognize an emotion, allow it, and respond to it. Sometimes that means self care and reflection. Other times it means being assertive and speaking up. Real strength is having all your resources available and knowing when to use them.”
In other words, it is not about suppressing emotions. It is about balance.
Why So Many Men Struggle
From culture to social conditioning, men are often taught that vulnerability equals weakness. They grow up believing they must be strong, silent, and stoic. Many fear that showing emotion will make them look less of a man or cost them acceptance from their group, family, or community.
But this old model creates walls. It leaves men emotionally unavailable to their partners and children. It fosters survival mode instead of presence. And it creates cycles of guilt, frustration, and disconnection.
Where Change Begins
So where should men start if they feel stuck? Steve’s answer is simple but powerful: awareness and honesty.
“It’s okay to not feel okay. What matters is being honest about it and not pushing it down. Awareness is the first step. Once you see it, you can do something about it.”
Practical steps include:
- Self care routines to stay grounded
- Physical movement to release energy
- Reflection and connection practices
- Slowing down to check in with values
These small but consistent actions build trust with yourself. And from there, real change becomes possible.
The Birth of Meant for More
Steve’s movement was born from his own transformation. After becoming a father at 21, he was forced to step up. The relationship with his partner ended, and he became the primary caregiver for his daughter. That responsibility became his awakening.
“It gave me discipline and structure. It forced me to evolve into the man I needed to be.”
Over time, Steve combined his background in sports, mindfulness, parenting, and coaching into a framework for men who are ready to grow. He developed six core traits of an evolved man and built a community around them.
What Real Transformation Looks Like
The most rewarding part of Steve’s work is seeing men light up when they realize change is possible.
“I’ve seen men reclaim their sensitivity, their power, and their authenticity. They go from fear and hiding to connection and confidence. That transformation impacts not just them, but their families, their relationships, and their communities.”
For Steve, evolving masculinity isn’t about abandoning strength. It’s about redefining it as love, presence, and authenticity.
The Bigger Vision
Steve’s ultimate goal is to create a global community of men committed to growth. A brotherhood where men can break old cycles, drop the armor, and step into their true power.
“Strength isn’t about walls. It’s about connection. Love is our true nature, and it is time we make it more accessible and available in our families and in our world.”
Where Should Men Invest Their Attention?
Every guest on Attention Is The Currency answers the same question: if attention is currency, where should we stop spending it and start investing it?
Steve’s answer:
“Stop wasting time on old models of masculinity and the armor of the past. Stop giving attention to what drags you down. Start investing in self care, self love, and self trust. When you do, you immediately begin to see yourself in a different light.”
Final Word
Steve Toelupe is on a mission to help men break patterns that no longer serve them and build a new definition of strength rooted in love and authenticity. His work through Meant for More is showing men that it is possible to evolve, possible to connect, and possible to thrive.
You can connect with Steve and join his community at meant4more.com.
If you know a man who is carrying the weight of outdated expectations, share this conversation with him because real change starts when we choose to show up differently.